TheBoyInSpace

Theboyinspace

It was an aesthetically pleasing day yet dreadfully boring all at once I fell overwhelmed with restlessness and confusion the reason why I’m not yet ready to diverge because I’ve yet to grasp a full understanding myself its upsetting because I had a decision to make made the choice of the most controlled yet had more unlikely issues and unexpected attachments, I played a game knowing full well the obstacles that stood before me and I cockily overestimated myself and yet I find myself speeding along where as competition drags its feet, it’s thrilling yet infuriating and also fills me with a gagging since if infatuation I find revolting and yet inviting all at once, I’m now left drifting endlessly drowning in my thoughts, appreciating the somewhat trivial beauty of the world once again theboyinspace

I feel like I’m going crazy all the time, my mind moves in long cycles, people confusing it for being slow, where as it just moves so fast I’m never focused n one thing for too long, and I have to round every little thought in my mind before addressing the original topic if its relevant enough if it doesn’t peek my interest I don’t care, and thus my school work becomes another grain of sand in the ever shifting chasm of an ocean floor that is serves as a scale of how far back in priority it is at time, occasionally being pulled upstream by currents, yet only to drift back down to the floor a speckle in the vast ocean inside my head, my thoughts always vagabond

No distress just me moving the vail and letting you peek into the galaxy of thoughts I harbor but never tell anyone, not out of free will but because its become too much for the moment I can’t keep quiet, I talk a lot but I think tenfold as much bottling up these thoughts, having no one to truly talk with, and yet you’d think I’d be crushed with a sense of loneliness but no only part of the time I’m only truly crushed with a sense of apathy, towards most things, hopelessness in our race, an incredible need to learn, and an insatiable appetite for distractions, strange I still find time to be euphorically happy by appearance not upset but almost never truly as happy, but contempt with this only ever happy when enthralled by wonder which is a constant state for me so in a since I’m always sad and happy

But who fucking cares everyone has problems you just have to deal with them, that’s life.